Ok, enough cheese.
I am currently annoyed with myself for having made a blog for little Violet with currently no posts, post pregnancy. It's been amazing spending (almost) every waking moment just caring for and loving on her and I have become temporarily not interested in doing much else, if I don't have to. I have written in a paper diary so far (might add those here) but y'know it is the digital age and well...
here we go. again. maybe I'll actually stick to it this time.
Having a newborn is for me is like, hmmm, how do I put? Starting over. Getting a second chance for a truly wonderful existence. Like life was great and all but now I wake up with an excitement that I haven't had since I was a little kid. Seeing things again for the first time. She's so full love and SO smart. I have been known to cry just looking at her because I cannot believe I got so lucky as to be her mom. She is the happiest and most beautiful baby I have ever known and she is all mine (well and her father's of course ;p )
She laughs in her sleep. I keep wondering what is so funny she dreams about it. She studies people with great intensity and then smiles, always winning the heart of her study. She has found her hand, rolls over and is now working on scooting god help me. She also talks, it is amazing the things she says, she is teaching me all kinds of wonderful new things. I will say this about all of it, I know I know how to love, but this kind of love took me completely by surprise, there is simply nothing else in the world like it.
It's funny, I was NEVER good at taking compliments before, in fact, it could be said I straight SUCKED at it. Someone would say something lovely and sweet to me about something I did and the best they got from me was a mumbled "thank you" or "no really, it was nothing at all". It wasn't that I was fishing for more, I just geniunely had bad self esteem. I wish I could go back and say thank you to all those people. The art of gratitude is really a nice thing to learn, now that I finally know what it is all about. People tell me how beautiful she is or how much she looks like me and I give them an immediate "thank you! I know" and it feels really good, to own my confidence again, for her. I want to teach her how important it is.
Since I am playing catch up, here are some of my favorite shots (that I have uploaded) so far:
