Monday, November 15, 2010
Just read a great birth story...
... and cried my eyes out. Maybe it's that she was brutally honest about the whole thing or funny... or both. Maybe it's that I'm so close and I think every single woman who has ever given birth is an enormous hero. Anyway, here it is.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!
For as many classes as we went to. It really is true. I don't. No one that has not previously given birth does. And perhaps I shouldn't. Don't get me wrong, it was lots of fun learning good positions and fun stuff like stations, effacement and dilation. But.
I have learned after a 1/3 of a century on this planet. I over think stuff. I know some of you are thinking to yourself "You, Heather? Never!" But it's true... I really really do, which is why I am starting repression therapy on myself... Somewhere in the deep reaches of my medulla oblangata will be the necessary technical information needed to process the information... But as for the getting it done, I am going to try something I haven't for a while.
Living in the moment. And faith. I figure if I can just stay in that place long enough to get her out all will be well.... I also am fairly certain I will be blessed with that wonderful experience all mothers tell me about... Forgetting the pain.
See I'm not one of those women that thinks they can escape it, with drugs yeah... sure. But mind over matter? Not me. I am fairly certain it will be excruciating at times and I will beg for drugs, cry, and generally be a huge PITA.
But in this one circumstance, it's O.K. I have done all those things before (except begging for drugs) and had far less reason to. It's not like I'm super excited about the pain, but I am convinced it has it's purpose... To get her out. So, with reason and purpose I will live with it until it's over and then I will have the best reward ever. That's my plan and I'm stickin' to it ;)
I have learned after a 1/3 of a century on this planet. I over think stuff. I know some of you are thinking to yourself "You, Heather? Never!" But it's true... I really really do, which is why I am starting repression therapy on myself... Somewhere in the deep reaches of my medulla oblangata will be the necessary technical information needed to process the information... But as for the getting it done, I am going to try something I haven't for a while.
Living in the moment. And faith. I figure if I can just stay in that place long enough to get her out all will be well.... I also am fairly certain I will be blessed with that wonderful experience all mothers tell me about... Forgetting the pain.
See I'm not one of those women that thinks they can escape it, with drugs yeah... sure. But mind over matter? Not me. I am fairly certain it will be excruciating at times and I will beg for drugs, cry, and generally be a huge PITA.
But in this one circumstance, it's O.K. I have done all those things before (except begging for drugs) and had far less reason to. It's not like I'm super excited about the pain, but I am convinced it has it's purpose... To get her out. So, with reason and purpose I will live with it until it's over and then I will have the best reward ever. That's my plan and I'm stickin' to it ;)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Fully Cooked
So here we are. At the beginning of the end of carrying this sweet little girl in my belly and preparing to share her with the rest of the world. I feel some signs that she's coming soon. Mainly just that there can't possibly be that much room left for her ;)
And the nesting thing, I have been so preoccupied with work for so long that I felt like maybe that was my way of nesting. Making sure we had a future... Thwarting the attacks (like any mama lion worth her salt would). Now that Measure T was defeated and we have moved forward with the city, I feel like I can finally let go.
Who would have thought that baby clothes could be folded so many times, ways and organized in various fashions till finding the perfect one? First, I thought I was all clever separating them types and by NB and 0-3, until it stuck me that the 0 in 0-3 means a NB could wear it, yes? Duh. Then of course by washing instructions, and then back to sizes (and types) again... Oy.
And the nesting thing, I have been so preoccupied with work for so long that I felt like maybe that was my way of nesting. Making sure we had a future... Thwarting the attacks (like any mama lion worth her salt would). Now that Measure T was defeated and we have moved forward with the city, I feel like I can finally let go.
Who would have thought that baby clothes could be folded so many times, ways and organized in various fashions till finding the perfect one? First, I thought I was all clever separating them types and by NB and 0-3, until it stuck me that the 0 in 0-3 means a NB could wear it, yes? Duh. Then of course by washing instructions, and then back to sizes (and types) again... Oy.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Belly Shots
So right now Violet's digs are getting more roomy and we thought we'd have some shots taken of the "remodel".
Thanks to our dear friend John for doing this for us, we will treasure them forever.
Friday, September 24, 2010
They should give degrees in cloth diapering
OK, maybe not quite a degree but there is certainly quite a lot to know. I always had an idea that cloth diapering would be something I would want to do if granted parenthood, but I won't lie there have been moments in planning for and collecting my diaper stash where I have contemplated "Wtf are you thinking? This is hard, possibly expensive if you do it wrong and we have old, shared washers and dryers" or "When are you even going to have time with your baby? Washing all day long? psshhhh."
There are 394526385075 Cloth Diapering 101 website pages out there, begging the question, is there an advanced course in this? Why yes, yes there is. I love the "first time new mom" page on Green Mountain Diapers "Overwhelmed? Confused?" They begin... Why yes. Yes I am.
And I still have yet to put cloth to butt.
I DO love the idea of of being gentler on the earth. It's something I hold dear to my heart. Also I noticed there is an ever growing force of mamas stepping up to the challenge with vigorous zeal. I'm pretty sure I can totally do this.
I got a lot of help from my freaky internet mama friends Spam, Mo, X, Merv and 1A. Do they sound mysterious? They totally are.
God love it if anyone ever gets any help from reading this, but I am doing it just as much for my own reference. Here is what I have learned:
First of all, it's even if your an hard core eco warrior, it's important to know that cloth diaper can save you money while saving the earth but notice my emphasis on "can" because you won't if you go nuts with all the most high end stuff... Case in point, for a moment I had my eye on this really absurdly cute line of cloth diapers called Good Mama which are just way out my price range, but it's easy to get carried away. A good rule of thumb is to repeat to yourself "poop goes in there" over and over until you navigate away from the page of temptation... Unless of course you can afford it, then go nuts and remember to send me pictures ;)
Next, there are a lot of terms and of course when you have this much choice and variation with terms to go along, you will end up with a lot of abbreviations. Here is a pretty straightforward of the basic terms and here is the advanced course (where I found that wicked good mama site).
To figure out what to go with has been the hard part for me. There are just So. Many. Choices. This guideline (courtesy of X) simplifies it a little and gives you some direction.
"Prefolds" are good and cheap. The name is misleading though, they are not actually pre-folded, they are just really super duper absorbent cloth that you fold into a cover. They are really kind of an industry standard if you think about it, our grandmothers used them (pretty sure they just called them "diapers" back the though) Having at least half of your stash in prefolds is smart and gets the job done. Folding instructions are slightly different for boys and girls.
"Fitteds" are a.freaking.dorable. and look outrageously easy, but a little pricey considering you still need to use a cover. From the first day I ever started looking I fell in love with kissaluvs and now that I actually have a dozen split between size purple 0 and unbleached 1 in my possession, I am sold. If I could afford it, I would get a full 3-4 dozen of these and call it a day.
Covers are for putting over "prefolds" or "fitteds". After a lot of research Bummis and Thirsties seem like good bets for the newborn stage into about 6 months. They seem like solid workhorses.
"Pockets" are where you stick a "prefold" or a "soaker" into a pocket inside a diaper that also works as a protective cover. I have not investigated these yet because it sounds like a little more laundry and I'm not sure we can handle that till we move.
"All in Ones" or "AIOs" are supposedly great for 3-6 months and up. Basically they are the absorbing mechanism and the repelling outer layer "all in one". They sound dreamy but everyone seems to complain they do not work for newborns. I don't really know that much about them to be honest, but am planning to use them more when I have a bigger baby.
Also, you're going to have to rethink detergents. That hardcore stuff you use for your stinky pile isn't going to work for theirs. You must find one super gentle enough to avoid rashes and strong enough get out poop. Sounds impossible to me but apparently it's not. Another rockin' guideline courtesy of X. Or even better you could be like Mo and make your own, she SWEARS by it and it does look really easy to make.
Oh, and you cannot use just any ol' diaper cream because when they get on the cloth they make the repel moisture instead of absorbing. If you should happen to get some desitin on that butt, Dawn original dishwashing liquid (blue bottle) will get it out safely. Here and here are two lists of cloth diaper safe creams (with some redundancies). From what I've heard you have less rashes from cloth diapering... or I could totally be making that up... Or even better you could use Coconut Oil as a diaper ointment which won't stain and washes right out. Apparently it works like a dream on the little cutie's tushies, but until that time I just like cooking with it.
As I have said I have yet to put cloth to butt and so all of this is just the un-vetted ramblings of a soon to be new mother with breastmilk wishes and granola dreams.
There are 394526385075 Cloth Diapering 101 website pages out there, begging the question, is there an advanced course in this? Why yes, yes there is. I love the "first time new mom" page on Green Mountain Diapers "Overwhelmed? Confused?" They begin... Why yes. Yes I am.
And I still have yet to put cloth to butt.
I DO love the idea of of being gentler on the earth. It's something I hold dear to my heart. Also I noticed there is an ever growing force of mamas stepping up to the challenge with vigorous zeal. I'm pretty sure I can totally do this.
Photo Credit: elephant
I got a lot of help from my freaky internet mama friends Spam, Mo, X, Merv and 1A. Do they sound mysterious? They totally are.
God love it if anyone ever gets any help from reading this, but I am doing it just as much for my own reference. Here is what I have learned:
First of all, it's even if your an hard core eco warrior, it's important to know that cloth diaper can save you money while saving the earth but notice my emphasis on "can" because you won't if you go nuts with all the most high end stuff... Case in point, for a moment I had my eye on this really absurdly cute line of cloth diapers called Good Mama which are just way out my price range, but it's easy to get carried away. A good rule of thumb is to repeat to yourself "poop goes in there" over and over until you navigate away from the page of temptation... Unless of course you can afford it, then go nuts and remember to send me pictures ;)
Next, there are a lot of terms and of course when you have this much choice and variation with terms to go along, you will end up with a lot of abbreviations. Here is a pretty straightforward of the basic terms and here is the advanced course (where I found that wicked good mama site).
To figure out what to go with has been the hard part for me. There are just So. Many. Choices. This guideline (courtesy of X) simplifies it a little and gives you some direction.
"Prefolds" are good and cheap. The name is misleading though, they are not actually pre-folded, they are just really super duper absorbent cloth that you fold into a cover. They are really kind of an industry standard if you think about it, our grandmothers used them (pretty sure they just called them "diapers" back the though) Having at least half of your stash in prefolds is smart and gets the job done. Folding instructions are slightly different for boys and girls.
"Fitteds" are a.freaking.dorable. and look outrageously easy, but a little pricey considering you still need to use a cover. From the first day I ever started looking I fell in love with kissaluvs and now that I actually have a dozen split between size purple 0 and unbleached 1 in my possession, I am sold. If I could afford it, I would get a full 3-4 dozen of these and call it a day.
photo credit: our little roo
Covers are for putting over "prefolds" or "fitteds". After a lot of research Bummis and Thirsties seem like good bets for the newborn stage into about 6 months. They seem like solid workhorses.
"Pockets" are where you stick a "prefold" or a "soaker" into a pocket inside a diaper that also works as a protective cover. I have not investigated these yet because it sounds like a little more laundry and I'm not sure we can handle that till we move.
"All in Ones" or "AIOs" are supposedly great for 3-6 months and up. Basically they are the absorbing mechanism and the repelling outer layer "all in one". They sound dreamy but everyone seems to complain they do not work for newborns. I don't really know that much about them to be honest, but am planning to use them more when I have a bigger baby.
Also, you're going to have to rethink detergents. That hardcore stuff you use for your stinky pile isn't going to work for theirs. You must find one super gentle enough to avoid rashes and strong enough get out poop. Sounds impossible to me but apparently it's not. Another rockin' guideline courtesy of X. Or even better you could be like Mo and make your own, she SWEARS by it and it does look really easy to make.
Photo Credit: Mo
Oh, and you cannot use just any ol' diaper cream because when they get on the cloth they make the repel moisture instead of absorbing. If you should happen to get some desitin on that butt, Dawn original dishwashing liquid (blue bottle) will get it out safely. Here and here are two lists of cloth diaper safe creams (with some redundancies). From what I've heard you have less rashes from cloth diapering... or I could totally be making that up... Or even better you could use Coconut Oil as a diaper ointment which won't stain and washes right out. Apparently it works like a dream on the little cutie's tushies, but until that time I just like cooking with it.
As I have said I have yet to put cloth to butt and so all of this is just the un-vetted ramblings of a soon to be new mother with breastmilk wishes and granola dreams.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Going Home...
Home Birth that is!
My girlfriend Shaw's little sister introduced me to the movie The Business of Being Born and coming from a documentary background I was intrigued. I am always conscious when watching documentaries that yes, they are biased (it is that passionate bias of the filmmaker that usually is what gets them made) and yes, the "truths" in them cannot be taken for fact, but still... the admission of the doctors and the stories of these women were so compelling.
You know how I am... I just thought "this sucks". We can go to the hospital if we want or if we need, but if we don't want or need and don't have the access and education to have a natural drug-less birth safely, that is yet another example of how far away HEALTHcare is far from where it should be. Not cool.
After that I quickly found this website called Giving Birth Naturally and the statistics surrounding hospital birth in the U.S. and I got really angry again. Then I got happy.
I realized could TOTALLY do this. It became clear to me that I really WANTED this experience of us bonding with our baby right away, the experience of being well taken care of but also left to give birth the way god intended me to.
I am in love with the SB Midwives and in a lot of ways I feel spoiled doing it this way. I have all my appt's at their houses and in the last month they will be coming to ours. I love how much time they spend with me/us. They really get to know you in a way I don't believe many doctors ever do. I am a big believer in holistic healing and a lot of what you get from a midwife proves that point perfectly. When you're not sick but your body needs attention (duh pregnancy) you take away all the technology and the gadgets and really figure out what helps make you well, you're halfway there.
That said, if I do every thing I can to get her out naturally and the birth turns into a medical emergency then of course it is what is. I live in a town with a great hospital that I volunteered at with my best friend Jen for 4 years (Jen and my other awesome friend Kat just gave birth there 2 years ago and it's a good place) and a fantastic Obstetrician that both Jen and the SB Midwives LOVE! I am so lucky for ALL of this and if I have to go down that road I will be grateful.
My girlfriend Shaw's little sister introduced me to the movie The Business of Being Born and coming from a documentary background I was intrigued. I am always conscious when watching documentaries that yes, they are biased (it is that passionate bias of the filmmaker that usually is what gets them made) and yes, the "truths" in them cannot be taken for fact, but still... the admission of the doctors and the stories of these women were so compelling.
You know how I am... I just thought "this sucks". We can go to the hospital if we want or if we need, but if we don't want or need and don't have the access and education to have a natural drug-less birth safely, that is yet another example of how far away HEALTHcare is far from where it should be. Not cool.
After that I quickly found this website called Giving Birth Naturally and the statistics surrounding hospital birth in the U.S. and I got really angry again. Then I got happy.
I realized could TOTALLY do this. It became clear to me that I really WANTED this experience of us bonding with our baby right away, the experience of being well taken care of but also left to give birth the way god intended me to.
I am in love with the SB Midwives and in a lot of ways I feel spoiled doing it this way. I have all my appt's at their houses and in the last month they will be coming to ours. I love how much time they spend with me/us. They really get to know you in a way I don't believe many doctors ever do. I am a big believer in holistic healing and a lot of what you get from a midwife proves that point perfectly. When you're not sick but your body needs attention (duh pregnancy) you take away all the technology and the gadgets and really figure out what helps make you well, you're halfway there.
That said, if I do every thing I can to get her out naturally and the birth turns into a medical emergency then of course it is what is. I live in a town with a great hospital that I volunteered at with my best friend Jen for 4 years (Jen and my other awesome friend Kat just gave birth there 2 years ago and it's a good place) and a fantastic Obstetrician that both Jen and the SB Midwives LOVE! I am so lucky for ALL of this and if I have to go down that road I will be grateful.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
It's a.........
BABY!
Well of course it is. But it's also a GIRL!
Yesterday Jerry and I went for our 20 week appointment and found out but Jerry could have told you last week. He had a dream: Sitting in the room waiting for the OB to direct us to what the shapes on the ultrasound mean and the Doc replies "it's an inny".
I was totally unsure but something was telling me boy... so much for Mama's intuition! Daddy's is much better ;)
Well of course it is. But it's also a GIRL!
Yesterday Jerry and I went for our 20 week appointment and found out but Jerry could have told you last week. He had a dream: Sitting in the room waiting for the OB to direct us to what the shapes on the ultrasound mean and the Doc replies "it's an inny".
I was totally unsure but something was telling me boy... so much for Mama's intuition! Daddy's is much better ;)
Monday, June 7, 2010
Silly Sally
It was love at first sight.
A face you simply cannot help but love, with a little soul behind that face that said "love me... I am yours". I'll admit, I was terrified of this kind of responsibility and knew it was a possibility that hubs and my folks were planning to give her to me (well all of us really, she is part of the family) for Christmas. This terrified of puppy parenthood feeling went away fairly fast when I realized she just simply made me a better person, I was happier than ever knowing her little wet nose and wistful deep dark eyes would always find me and remind me how awesome life can be when you just decide to play or go for a walk.
I first met her here when our friend Brian brought her around, he definitely thought we would make a good family for her, and I'm glad I listened.
Just seconds before this next one, she looked up into my eyes and said "are you my mommy?" Yes little one, yes I am.
Sure enough, Christmas Day came and she was ours.
She slept a lot in the beginning, slept and ate and pooped a lot. But then she was a baby ;)
A face you simply cannot help but love, with a little soul behind that face that said "love me... I am yours". I'll admit, I was terrified of this kind of responsibility and knew it was a possibility that hubs and my folks were planning to give her to me (well all of us really, she is part of the family) for Christmas. This terrified of puppy parenthood feeling went away fairly fast when I realized she just simply made me a better person, I was happier than ever knowing her little wet nose and wistful deep dark eyes would always find me and remind me how awesome life can be when you just decide to play or go for a walk.
I first met her here when our friend Brian brought her around, he definitely thought we would make a good family for her, and I'm glad I listened.
Just seconds before this next one, she looked up into my eyes and said "are you my mommy?" Yes little one, yes I am.
Sure enough, Christmas Day came and she was ours.
She slept a lot in the beginning, slept and ate and pooped a lot. But then she was a baby ;)
Then she got her final shot and started to be able to do all kinds of fun stuff... like out and about for brunch.
And to puppy classes...
Learning to play nice.
And now she has a best friend... Cricket from downstairs ;)
They chase each other around all day when they can...
Nowadays she loves games... any games... all games. Fetch, tricks, using the backyard as an obstacle course... I know I'm biased... but she is the smartest dog I've ever known ;)
Play.
Sleep.
Love.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Sweet Mousse
It's a good life, but furry little friends to share it with, make it that much better. Since this is a new blog, I'll catch you you up on old photos of the little love bugs....
I'll start with Mousse...
Our precious little softy pie Mousse has been with us through so much. The best confidant, I can tell her anything, and she gets it ;) We have the best time just laying around on lazy Sundays but whenever the house is a buzz she'll make sure we know she wants to go outside and sun.... come back in for some pets... and then tell us when it time to go out again. She is very loyal though, she used to wander a bit (and worry the hell out of us) but nowadays it's just the porch and the backyard.
She has come to really love Sally too. It took a little while but now they have fun exploring together and chasing each other around. She only swats at her (claws in, even) when Sally tries to sniff her butt for too long. They even sleep next to each other once in a while. It does a mama proud ;) We have had lots of names for her over the years. She started out as princess snowball (thanks Lonnie :P) and that might have stuck if her stripes hadn't come in, she has her mama Gina Marie's RIP stripes, so her and there I played around when calling her Miiisss, turned to Moooose, and forever now we have called her moose. She told me though she didn't like the spelling though and preferred Mousse (like white chocolate mousse), because she is, after all, a girl. When Sally came, she got called Poor Mousse quite a lot. So without further delay, here is Poor-Miss-Princess-Snowball-Mousse in her many incarnations
A model
A hunter
A great study partner
A good sport
A hider
A weird sleeper
An inquisitive sniffer
A big fan of boxes
And Christmas
Well maybe this last year when Sally came was a little hard for her. But I have no doubt they'll be chasing each other around the tree (hopefully not bring it crashing down though) this year.
I'll start with Mousse...
Our precious little softy pie Mousse has been with us through so much. The best confidant, I can tell her anything, and she gets it ;) We have the best time just laying around on lazy Sundays but whenever the house is a buzz she'll make sure we know she wants to go outside and sun.... come back in for some pets... and then tell us when it time to go out again. She is very loyal though, she used to wander a bit (and worry the hell out of us) but nowadays it's just the porch and the backyard.
She has come to really love Sally too. It took a little while but now they have fun exploring together and chasing each other around. She only swats at her (claws in, even) when Sally tries to sniff her butt for too long. They even sleep next to each other once in a while. It does a mama proud ;) We have had lots of names for her over the years. She started out as princess snowball (thanks Lonnie :P) and that might have stuck if her stripes hadn't come in, she has her mama Gina Marie's RIP stripes, so her and there I played around when calling her Miiisss, turned to Moooose, and forever now we have called her moose. She told me though she didn't like the spelling though and preferred Mousse (like white chocolate mousse), because she is, after all, a girl. When Sally came, she got called Poor Mousse quite a lot. So without further delay, here is Poor-Miss-Princess-Snowball-Mousse in her many incarnations
A model
A hunter
A great study partner
A good sport
A hider
A weird sleeper
An inquisitive sniffer
A big fan of boxes
And Christmas
Well maybe this last year when Sally came was a little hard for her. But I have no doubt they'll be chasing each other around the tree (hopefully not bring it crashing down though) this year.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
One down, a lifetime to go.
Yesterday was our one year anniversary. Crazy! This year has gone by so fast, I can't believe it.... My parents did some fun stuff for us, like a a little mini cake because we basically destroyed that top tier you're supposed to eat. And for our "paper" anniversary got us little love cards for writing each other love letters... Awww... I meant to get my name changed as a paper present for this anniversary, but well... baby growing got in the way... A baby in the belly is a pretty good present though... no?
So, in honor of our anniversary we went back to the scene of the crime ;) The mission area was bumpin' with i madonnari madness and we went to enjoy it. This pic doesn't do it justice but it was a perfectly gorgeous day.
Last year a purple haze of a wedding this year Jimi keeps it real ;)
We just loved this one, it reminded us of our cat mousse and her morning ritual in the kitchen window.
5/30/10 - Happy Together.
5/30/09 - Beginning Forever.
And someday (in the not too distant future) I'll make a nice fat wedding and honeymoon post with all the other fun pics....
So, in honor of our anniversary we went back to the scene of the crime ;) The mission area was bumpin' with i madonnari madness and we went to enjoy it. This pic doesn't do it justice but it was a perfectly gorgeous day.
Last year a purple haze of a wedding this year Jimi keeps it real ;)
We just loved this one, it reminded us of our cat mousse and her morning ritual in the kitchen window.
5/30/10 - Happy Together.
5/30/09 - Beginning Forever.
And someday (in the not too distant future) I'll make a nice fat wedding and honeymoon post with all the other fun pics....
Friday, May 14, 2010
Peek a Boo, I see you!
I have started to rack up quite a collections for so early on in a pregnancy. It's cool though because this kiddo can see itself from a gestational sac. More embarrassing that a bear skin rug picture? We'll see when they start dating ;)
3/26 - So this first one I "stole" (took a picture with my iphone after the doctor left). There was a mixture of wonder and fear going on when I took this. The doctor had just gotten through say "well it could be a pregnancy, or a miscarriage" this worried me and it sucked. I wanted to be excited and she ruined it for me. Oh well... I have a new OB now and lots of beautiful ultrasounds of a healthy growing baby... Yay!
4/9 - Second one, same doc. Here we see the yolk sac (and I think) the beginnings of the fetal pole. The doc was (a little) better and I had Jerry with me, I think she could clearly see how incredibly excited we were to see development. She said, "you're still not out of the woods yet" but she stfu when I said "well it's some development and that's great as far as I'm concerned"
4/19 - New (awesome) Doc and Baby is fully out of hiding!!! Wow at this point we were just shocked and crazy excited! Only 10 days since the "yolk sac" and there is a beautiful perfect fully formed one inch baby. arm and leg buds out and I swear to god it's smiling at us and dancing no less (Jerry took a little video I'll have to post someday when I figure that out). Happy, happy day!
5/13 - Appt. with NT nuchal translucency specialist I am requested to see at 12 weeks. Appt. was emotional for me, Jerry really helped me through this. It's so hard when they want to test you for disorders. I mean, it's good to be prepared, but does that mean we would love it any less? No. So some of it just seems like an exercise in futility and another reason to worry. Luckily we made out like bandits and had the best results you could possibly ask for. But then are asked "do you want the second round so you can have a 90% read?". "No thanks", I'm sure there are going to be plenty of chances for poking and prodding later. For those of you that have been through it maybe you can understand. At this point just want to enjoy this pregnancy and not spend time worrying about things that are god's plan anyway ;)
Bye for now! Next time you see me we'll be seeing if I'll be playing team peen or team hoo-ha ;)
It's so nice to be through the first trimester. I feel a lot more relaxed and am getting excited more and more everyday having a happy pregnancy while waiting for our little one to arrive...
3/26 - So this first one I "stole" (took a picture with my iphone after the doctor left). There was a mixture of wonder and fear going on when I took this. The doctor had just gotten through say "well it could be a pregnancy, or a miscarriage" this worried me and it sucked. I wanted to be excited and she ruined it for me. Oh well... I have a new OB now and lots of beautiful ultrasounds of a healthy growing baby... Yay!
4/9 - Second one, same doc. Here we see the yolk sac (and I think) the beginnings of the fetal pole. The doc was (a little) better and I had Jerry with me, I think she could clearly see how incredibly excited we were to see development. She said, "you're still not out of the woods yet" but she stfu when I said "well it's some development and that's great as far as I'm concerned"
4/19 - New (awesome) Doc and Baby is fully out of hiding!!! Wow at this point we were just shocked and crazy excited! Only 10 days since the "yolk sac" and there is a beautiful perfect fully formed one inch baby. arm and leg buds out and I swear to god it's smiling at us and dancing no less (Jerry took a little video I'll have to post someday when I figure that out). Happy, happy day!
5/13 - Appt. with NT nuchal translucency specialist I am requested to see at 12 weeks. Appt. was emotional for me, Jerry really helped me through this. It's so hard when they want to test you for disorders. I mean, it's good to be prepared, but does that mean we would love it any less? No. So some of it just seems like an exercise in futility and another reason to worry. Luckily we made out like bandits and had the best results you could possibly ask for. But then are asked "do you want the second round so you can have a 90% read?". "No thanks", I'm sure there are going to be plenty of chances for poking and prodding later. For those of you that have been through it maybe you can understand. At this point just want to enjoy this pregnancy and not spend time worrying about things that are god's plan anyway ;)
Bye for now! Next time you see me we'll be seeing if I'll be playing team peen or team hoo-ha ;)
It's so nice to be through the first trimester. I feel a lot more relaxed and am getting excited more and more everyday having a happy pregnancy while waiting for our little one to arrive...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!!!
It's hard to put into words what you have given me.
A beautiful childhood full of wonder and innocence.
The love and support to give me courage through all those hard times.
A huge focus on being my own person and not listening to naysayers.
And a million other things that I can only hope I give my to this new child in my belly.
I love you Mom!
A beautiful childhood full of wonder and innocence.
The love and support to give me courage through all those hard times.
A huge focus on being my own person and not listening to naysayers.
And a million other things that I can only hope I give my to this new child in my belly.
I love you Mom!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
An Unexpected Beginning
ser·en·dip·i·ty
-noun
1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2. good fortune; luck.
I have often felt that everything in my life is rushing towards a certain path, and for years I have been genuinely confused about my true purpose. Not to say I felt empty before, just not completely full. I have a loving family that has taught me well. A wonderful husband who understands me. A challenging career that is so simultaneously frustrating and rewarding I can't imagine doing anything else.
But being a mom? I had been told by a few doctors that because of some rather obvious fertility issues it was going to be a challenge at best. Now that it's actually happening, I'll be honest, it broke my heart. We had made a decision, we weren't financially ready, so to push the issue now felt irresponsible at best. I know I'm going to sound like a bit of drama queen here but I still felt like my days, er, my eggs were going to be numbered in the near future, so for all intensive purposes, I put my hopes for a child had been put in the (way) back of the drawer for quite a while. I never would have guessed that this thing I had always wanted so badly would have happened so quickly after getting married. Well on a special Friday night in the middle of March, it actually happened.
I felt like crap all day. I was incredibly worn down (I thought from working hard). I went to get a facial (a thing I never treat myself to anymore) just to unwind, and old coworker of mine, Rosa, was the esthetician and said "you must be pregnant squishy" (she was a BIG fan of Finding Nemo when we worked together)
So I went home and took a test, I had taken a few dozen in my life and never saw anything special in the window. Normally I would stay in the bathroom just staring... Staring in vain, this time for some reason, I was totally uninterested after 20 seconds. I set it on the bathtub and went on about my day...
Jerry got home, we had dinner, got ready for bed and there we are... both brushing our teeth and I look down and see something I had never seen before.
I am not the fainting type, but I did fall to the ground. It kinda went something like this:
Me: "Oh my god, Jerry look!"
Jerry: "Oh my god"
Me: "Oh my god"
(this went on for another round or two)
Me: Is this... are you... happy?"
Jerry: Hell Yes! Are you?
Me: (through tears) ARE YOU KIDDING? SO HAPPY!!!
Then we pulled ourselves up off the floor of our ultra tiny bathroom, got in bed and proceeded to not get any sleep at all, talking about how the rest of our lives had been changed in an instant.
So there you have it. The beginning of this blog. A blessing that came out of the blue. Serendipity.
So what you ask could be better than that? The beginning of the rest of our lives and the continuation of this crazy journey, of course!
-noun
1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2. good fortune; luck.
I have often felt that everything in my life is rushing towards a certain path, and for years I have been genuinely confused about my true purpose. Not to say I felt empty before, just not completely full. I have a loving family that has taught me well. A wonderful husband who understands me. A challenging career that is so simultaneously frustrating and rewarding I can't imagine doing anything else.
But being a mom? I had been told by a few doctors that because of some rather obvious fertility issues it was going to be a challenge at best. Now that it's actually happening, I'll be honest, it broke my heart. We had made a decision, we weren't financially ready, so to push the issue now felt irresponsible at best. I know I'm going to sound like a bit of drama queen here but I still felt like my days, er, my eggs were going to be numbered in the near future, so for all intensive purposes, I put my hopes for a child had been put in the (way) back of the drawer for quite a while. I never would have guessed that this thing I had always wanted so badly would have happened so quickly after getting married. Well on a special Friday night in the middle of March, it actually happened.
I felt like crap all day. I was incredibly worn down (I thought from working hard). I went to get a facial (a thing I never treat myself to anymore) just to unwind, and old coworker of mine, Rosa, was the esthetician and said "you must be pregnant squishy" (she was a BIG fan of Finding Nemo when we worked together)
So I went home and took a test, I had taken a few dozen in my life and never saw anything special in the window. Normally I would stay in the bathroom just staring... Staring in vain, this time for some reason, I was totally uninterested after 20 seconds. I set it on the bathtub and went on about my day...
Jerry got home, we had dinner, got ready for bed and there we are... both brushing our teeth and I look down and see something I had never seen before.
I am not the fainting type, but I did fall to the ground. It kinda went something like this:
Me: "Oh my god, Jerry look!"
Jerry: "Oh my god"
Me: "Oh my god"
(this went on for another round or two)
Me: Is this... are you... happy?"
Jerry: Hell Yes! Are you?
Me: (through tears) ARE YOU KIDDING? SO HAPPY!!!
Then we pulled ourselves up off the floor of our ultra tiny bathroom, got in bed and proceeded to not get any sleep at all, talking about how the rest of our lives had been changed in an instant.
So there you have it. The beginning of this blog. A blessing that came out of the blue. Serendipity.
So what you ask could be better than that? The beginning of the rest of our lives and the continuation of this crazy journey, of course!
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